I was married to Andrew, my husband, in August 2021. We had a very small ceremony due to Covid-19. Now we’re planning to have a bigger celebration when my family from Thailand and my aunt from Germany arrive later in November.
Things get crazy.
Starting with the timeline. We set the celebration date in early December. Andrew and I will fly to the east coast for Christmas where his mom and aunt will join us at Adam’s house. Adam is Andrew’s brother. We’ll come back on January 1. Two of my aunts will go back to Thailand and Germany in January. My winter quarter will begin in early January. Meaning, Evelyn, Andrew’s mom and probably his aunt, will need to have two trips during this short period of time; one to our wedding and another to Adam’s house for Christmas. I feel bad to give them a late notice, but honestly, I had no choice. It’s difficult enough to get the date confirmation from my family, who travels from two countries. At the time of writing, my aunt Gaew in Germany doesn’t even get her passport back with her approved US visa yet. She affirmed that she will definitely arrive the US before December. Meanwhile in Germany, Covid cases are climbing. Yep. Again.
Then, my messy school, work, and life schedule. I don’t know how and why but things seem to happen in the last two months before the end of the year – especially this year. Volunteer website work as a part of English Composition ll, research paper that needs a god damn load of reading and paraphrasing, Communication class readings filled with difficult, unnecessary fancy words that waste time to understand, Floofy, a new cat who is freaking cute but needs lots of vet appointments, Isabelle, the old cat who needs some health checkup and teeth appointments, my teeth cleaning appointments. I haven’t had them checked up in the past three years, that’s why I shouldn’t prolong it. Oh, and my part-time web manager role with the Collegian which becomes more demanding with the school reopening and we’re resetting writing-editing standards across the board. It’s a lot of work on top of the mountain of obligations I have in other areas. I cut them down and focus on my major responsibilities of being the web master.
And my married life with my lovely husband. I just realized what it means to be married and actually living with my partner under the same roof. I love the joy and activities we do together. It also means that we both have mutual responsibilities around the house based on how and what we can contribute. It’s a teamwork. This also relates to those kitty business I mentioned earlier. Sometimes we do it together. Sometimes, each of us does it alone. I find myself spend a lot more time in house cleaning. Same with Andrew who sometimes loses track of time in the garage fixing things, building stuff, or doing house chores. I understand more about how important it is to make time for our relationship. It’s funny how different it is comparing to when I was all by myself in my tiny apartment. I could just grab a few stuff from the fridge for dinner and watch Gilmore Girls without preparing food for another person or talking to anyone. Living with Andrew helps balance my mental and physical health by a lot especially during working and studying full-time online. I love this man and feel very lucky to have him.
Gosh, hahaha. This post has gone beyond the wedding. Ok. Back to the point.
So, yeah, the wedding. You know me. I’m a minimalist. I avoid making trash in any situation. So think about how much of that identity plays out in my own wedding plan? It hits me quite hard. With my total honesty, I’m not into celebrations or ceremonies at all. First reason, I’m socially awkward and anxious when I’m around a lot of people. Second, I’m sick of how much waste generated from one event alone. Say freebies, souvenirs, cheap gifts, you name it. So, for my own wedding celebration, all I want is to make it like a family reunion and keep things so freaking simple.
The wants and the don’t-wants
I want us to have a good time with food, drinks, and conversations. My guest list is under 20 people – mostly family members of ours and Andrew’s close friends. I want to encourage the guests to bring their own containers to take their leftovers back home. This would leave no food waste behind and they would get free food! Ideally, I want them to even bring their reusable straw. I don’t want any decorations (flowers, balloons, confetti, etc.), fancy dresses, or wasteful, meaningless souvenirs. This doesn’t only save us cost, but saves everyone’s time from having to deal with them. I want my guests to dress casual and wear what they have. Andrew agreed with whatever I proposed so far and has helped make most of the decisions.
Does this kind of wedding exist? This would be a perfect wedding for me. I can’t wait to see how it turns out in real life and how people would react to this far-from-traditional kind of wedding.